9/10: is it enough?

Have you ever asked yourself is 9 out of 10 enough for you?

You were expected to get 10 bills/kittens/whatever, but all you have is just only 9. Will you be frustrated? Well, it depends on how valuable the thing is for you in this very moment.

Will you consider deep, trusting and full of emotional intimacy relationship not that good without having sex?

Sex is my final destination. That's how I can know that I hold a special place in her world. I can own something which isn't available for others. If I didn't reach this point, then I must be like a million of others who tried and failed.

You made it to her home looking forward to have a warm welcome, one more step and... the door is closed.

:(

I'm just sad that this couldn't work out... My world will never be the same, although I've made same mistake twice. What the fuck!

This is heartbreaking... having lived 26 years with no achievements with women. If they don't want me, then there must be something wrong with me. A traitor inside my mind that always lets me down. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to make it through.

I'm not saying I've been failing all the time... Two or three times I could manage my relationship with women. Looking back through the years I can clearly see now that we were laking trust between us. Getting laid for the first time with no experience can be such a challange. When you weren't told about healthy relationship between men and women porn is not a good coach, it only leads to dilusion about what real sex looks like.

Failure

Thanks to constant lacking of sex, there's only one thing on my mind and that's revenge. I don't think I will ever be faithful. While they all were having sex, I wasn't. And now should I say "no" to myself? No, never.