We were meant to meet last Friday. We didn't. That sucks.
Feels like I'm not living life of mine. I always get the minimum amount of relationship with her. Kissing and cuddling is good, but that's not the point. I really need to have sex with her. I'm not obsessed with sex... No, I am. I've been suppressing it for so long, so now I can't control it.
It's always better to burn bright than slowly fade away. I tried to break up with her, but in the last moment I said that she could call me anytime she wants to hear me.
"And that's all?" she asked me surprisingly.
"So now you don't want to see me anymore?" - she is always good at asking the right questions - it was her second question.
"So far no, but I will think about the future" - I responded.
... About a week or so she called me and asked about the rest of the photos that I supposed to give her. When it was done, she called me again and offered to come to her to have my present - it was a cake. As it often happend, only on third weekend we could hang out.
When we came to the hidden place in a forest we sat down on my sleeping pad and talked much. Than her phone rang and she stood up. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I didn't know when to start. Look on her face also made me feel puzzled. It was not like her being kind of shy or something. I stood up too, came to her, cuddled slowly and said that we didn't see each other for so long... I patted her arms, pulled towards myself and begun to kiss. She was so putty in my hands...
Huh, writting this makes me feel like it was just yesterday, although it was more than a month ago.
I didn't paw her, because I might have not survived another heartattack.
Maybe it was my mistake... I should've not taken it that seriously.
Another nail in the coffin. For me our relationship is going to be over. Sooner or later, it's just a matter of time. I knew that was going to happen. I wish I could go a bit further than I am now.
Feels like I'm not living life of mine. I always get the minimum amount of relationship with her. Kissing and cuddling is good, but that's not the point. I really need to have sex with her. I'm not obsessed with sex... No, I am. I've been suppressing it for so long, so now I can't control it.
It's always better to burn bright than slowly fade away. I tried to break up with her, but in the last moment I said that she could call me anytime she wants to hear me.
"And that's all?" she asked me surprisingly.
"So now you don't want to see me anymore?" - she is always good at asking the right questions - it was her second question.
"So far no, but I will think about the future" - I responded.
... About a week or so she called me and asked about the rest of the photos that I supposed to give her. When it was done, she called me again and offered to come to her to have my present - it was a cake. As it often happend, only on third weekend we could hang out.
When we came to the hidden place in a forest we sat down on my sleeping pad and talked much. Than her phone rang and she stood up. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I didn't know when to start. Look on her face also made me feel puzzled. It was not like her being kind of shy or something. I stood up too, came to her, cuddled slowly and said that we didn't see each other for so long... I patted her arms, pulled towards myself and begun to kiss. She was so putty in my hands...
Huh, writting this makes me feel like it was just yesterday, although it was more than a month ago.
I didn't paw her, because I might have not survived another heartattack.
Maybe it was my mistake... I should've not taken it that seriously.
Another nail in the coffin. For me our relationship is going to be over. Sooner or later, it's just a matter of time. I knew that was going to happen. I wish I could go a bit further than I am now.
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