It is still so fucking hard to let her go. I believe in reason and logic, but it doesn't work here..

I guess if I could have erased my memory I would have done it. I've learned the lessons I would never learn the other way. I would like her to be my only one. Her beauty and character is beyond any evaluation... My God why should I go through it? Why things are so complicated, when life isn't an easy thing to handle?

... I still remember the day when one of her daughters said the she like me and she wants to see me. I was so exited! I begun thinking how cool it would be to marry one of her daughters while having a relationship with her. I can't stop wishing to be with her...

There's no other girl among my peers who can compare to her. The way she looks at you, treats you, speaks to you, cuddles you with her gentle arms, kisses you with all her passion, doing a million unexpected pleasant things for you...

If there's a perfect woman, that's definitely the She.

Will I ever stop shed a tear while I'm writting all this?

30/09/2016   2:46

I never wanted it to be like this... Drowning in the ocean of the feelings I can't even express. How could I make this happen? What went wrong? Is there any way out?

Who's the one who makes same mistake twice? Yep, it's me. Nice to meet you!

... "So far I am not sure about the weekend" she told me.
Notice the difference, there hasn't been said a single word about possible meeting in the future.
No "I don't mind you invitation... but I can't meet you this weekeng, let's manage our meeting the next one. Okay?". It seems like I am asking too much...

I can't forgive myself lucking the courage to pursue my passion. I should've hug her and kiss last fall in 2015. It was October 25 or 27, I don't fucking remember the exact day. It doesn't matter now, I
She was happy to see me, I saw this in her beautiful eyes, her smile and the way she behaves in my presence. I was afraid that I will ruin our relationship if I go any further... Such a fool! I might have ruined it by suppressing my feelings to her.

 If not for our dream, that for what we are living for?

27/09/2016   2:14